Being in an intimate relationship with another person may be one of the hardest things you do. Whether you've been together for decades, are talking about marriage, or having troubles, couples therapy can have a positive impact on your relationship. Feeling distant or alone in a relationship is not uncommon, and having a guide to help the two of you find that connection you once had, I believe, is worth the effort. As someone who's been in a 20-year committed relationship, I know that living with your favorite person is not always easy!​

 

So how do you create a successful, loving, healthy relationship?  Where do we start in couples therapy? I have training in the PACT model (Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy) and the Gottman Method. We begin where you and your partner or spouse are. Do you have difficulty communicating, understanding each other, or are feeling disconnected? Is there a loss of intimacy and fun in your relationship? We'll collaborate and start with what you feel are the most pressing issues. As a trauma-informed, EMDR therapist, I also bring a depth of knowledge and sensitivity to how your childhood experiences and family of origin relationships impact the way you both show up in your relationship. We'll look at the external stressors that factor in to your relationship in a way that's useful and productive and not in a way that is blaming or shaming.

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​PACT integrates developmental neuroscience, attachment theory, and an understanding of human biology and nervous system regulation that I find to be the most impactful and revolutionary way to work with couples. PACT sessions are experiential and take an in-the-moment look at how the two of you interact and relate. It's not just theoretical. We'll experiment in real time with different ways of talking to your partner, seeing each other, and understanding one another that effects real change and builds a secure functioning relationship. Dare I say it can even be FUN at times!?! Who says therapy has to be hard? 

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There also many components and skills in the Gottman Method  I find to be wonderful resources. The Gottman Method is steeped in decades of research about what makes for a healthy, thriving relationship. You may have heard of the Four Horsemen, the 5:1 ratio for positive interactions, and other tools and skills the Gottmans have used  with thousands of couples.

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COUPLES I WORK WITH?

If you're dating, co-habitating, engaged, married, separated or divorced with children--your lives are intertwined. I work with straight couples, LGBTQIA+ couples, and other twosomes!

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OTHER TWOSOMES:

Siblings, business partners, co-workers. Some of the same issues mentioned above come up for other types of twos: difficulty communicating, negative patterns/cycles, dealing with past hurts and betrayals. Relational therapy can work for you as well and bring a newfound clarity and understanding in these relationships as well.